The Continuing Story of Scarf, the Garibaldi Boy.

Once upon a time, there was a little boy called Scarf, who was made almost entirely out of garibaldi biscuits. He used to be like any other little boy of his age. He would play in the yard outside the house with his other friends. He would go to school every day with his chums, and afterwards they would don their hyaena outfits and steal cars.

His parents loved him and his brother and sister, Matching-Hat and Gloves very much and everyone was very happy, until one day the cruel hand of drama decided to lend its nib to a page in Scarf's book, and he began to melt. Oh no! sorry, that is from another book - Scone, the Ice Cream horse. I do apologize. Actually, Scarf was outside playing football with his pals in the yard as usual, when he noticed that his feet were beginning to fall apart, along the thin bit where the currants were.
"Crikey!" he said to his friend Tommy "I'm falling to bits!"
"Well, you're made out of fucking cake aren't you"
Scarf hit Tommy in the face until his ears bled, then calmed down a little.
"Hmm. you're right! I'll have to get some shoes!"

So that afternoon, Tommy and Scarf went to town to find some shoes. Firstly they went into the Bakers.
"Hello Mr Bunn" said Scarf to the Baker (who had to change his surname to Bunn, as do all Bakers upon completing their City & Guilds Bakers exams), "I am looking for a pair of shoes, as my feet are in bits. If you can help me, you can eat some of my tasty (though probably a little stale) garibaldi"
Mr Bunn cast a doubtful eye over Scarf's feet and handed him a couple of baguettes.
"These might come in handy. Could I have your arms please?"

Outside, Tommy affixed the baguettes to where Scarf's arms once were. "There, that'll do Scarfey". Lets try the fishmongers next!

Later on, Tommy and a strange herringheaded baguette armed creature strolled into the shoemakers. "Christ!" said the shoemaker unconvincingly. "It's that bloke who sings Achey Breaky Heart !!! I'm off!" and ran out of the door leaving several pairs of shoes behind him.

Just then, seven hundred elves came out from behind the counter and ate Scarf who died grinning on live TV between a video for Michael Jackson's Who is it and a recipe for Banana Soufflé.