Poisonous snakes are never good hanggliders
or
Good lord look at the time.

A pineapple of golden thread,
Was in amongst the bacon,
The jam jar ate the wholemeal bread,
Then found it was mistaken.

As foul abruptly brewed aloft,
And gave an evil stench,
Whose Fairy liquid was as soft,
As a splintered green park bench.

"Ha Haa Ha Haa" the Vampire said,
"Ha Haa Ha Haa Ha Haaah"
"Ha Haa Ha Haa except I'm dead,"
"!"

"But something awful was afoot,
And it was a foot that smelt,
And it was a sorry hand,
That old fate had dealt.

One hundred million goldfishes,
Coughed and had bad breath,
And daffodils were octopi,
And were the Skull of Death.

"Aaawgghhh!" said PK as he woke up,
Into a pool of sweat,
"Lucky that was not all true,
But just a dream - I bet!"

Then he remembered as do some,
That he was on the moon,
A pipecleaner called Furry Fred,
Was there to seal his doom.

But as he wrestled with Furry Fred,
Who was not really furry,
He received a blow upon his head,
And his vision went all blurry.

Twas then he heard a fearful sound,
A-coming from the mire,
The terror of a thousand year,
The New Welsh Schoolboys Choir!

The song it was forever,
It drove PK round the bend,
Its callous evil close harmonies,
And it did have no end!!
(of callous evil close harmonies)

"Nwl dygllech pwl dugaig ffyf,
Powllglaindyf cwmyr gwymm,
Furdhaillth gwllglffgoch myrwh,
Pwylhllgoch nywl goch rywff"
"No more!" said Duncan, quite distressed,
As PK was not strong,
My friend will die if you even try,
To sing another song."

"I should be so lucky, lucky lucky lucky . . .",
The schoolboys shouted out,
"Keep it down" said Sausage Man,
"You're sure to wake the neighbours!"

"That reminds us of a song
That we will sing to thee"
But the Phantom Fishfinger spied the choir,
And ate them for his tea.

As the breadcrumbed fiend sank out of sight,
A small voice said "Hooray!!,
You'll never hear the song now but,
It was useless anyway!"

"Who are you and are you an elk?"
The Pumpkin Kid enquired,
"No, I'm Fred, I'm a garden gnome,
And member of the Welsh Schoolboy Choir!"

"I shall sing another song,
About devils yogurt curses!"
"Yes you do that, you can't go wrong,
-besides, we need the verses"


"Ahem:-"


"In the deepest shade of blue,
That swims among the night,
Resides a hopping kangaroo,
Who gives a nasty bite!"

"This spooky scene is one that plants,
The icy deadly breath,
And robust tubular frame resides,
To reveal the Skull of Death."

"The Skull of Death will laugh at you,
In fact he may even cackle,
Harold is his pseudonym,
And was born upon a Jackal."

"The Skull of Death will laugh at you,
In fact he will probably chortle,
He may fire his shotgun up your nose,
To prove you're only mortal"

"The Skull of Death will laugh at you,
In fact he may even chuckle,
He has a silver deadly rune,
Upon his golden buckle."

"The Skull of Death will laugh at you,
In fact he may guffaw,
He always holds a frying pan,
Within his skeletal paw."

"The Skull of Death will laugh at you,
In fact he may even titter.
He wears a hood and a black cloak,
like a butterfly doth flitter."

"The Skull of Death will laugh at you,
In fact he may chortle some more,
He'll put a shotgun up your nose,
Just like he did before"

"The Skull of Death will laugh at you,
In fact he may titter again,
He'll spank a flower on your chest,
And put you into pain."

"The Skull of Death will laugh at you,
In fact he may tee hee,
He'll dance around the mulberry bush,
And cover you in blee."

"The Skull of Death will laugh at you,
And may even show his mirth,
Avoiding him is a piece of shoe,
Just head straight for Perth!"

"The Skull of Death will laugh at you . . ."
"You're talking crap!", old Duncan said,
"I don't believe a word,
I'd get more sense from Furry Fred
And pipecleaners can't speak."

"I can though" said Furry Fred.
"Oh"

"I thought as much," said our friend Fred,
"I thought 'well if I know 'im ',
He'll give me no thanks at all,
If I fill up this poem!"

But as often happens in Noddyland,
And this happened today,
Sid, a giant hobnailed Squid,
Flooped up to say "G'day".

"I'm from Australia, cenn you giss?
I've come to meet PK
What I've come to tell you iz,
Thets roight, you're going to die."

"You're being written out of the script,
In just two poems time,
Cos your name is so long we have to shorten it,
And cover you in slime!"

"Never mind PK" said the squid,
"You'll surely get a new rebirth,
Ive got to go back down 10 feet,
Through a secret door to Perth!"

"Jolly ho! A stroke of luck"
Said Fred the garden gnome,
Making pastry making pastry,

But! The sleeping guard did roam!

He wanted to seek his revenge,
So pushed our heroes into earth,
10 foot down with jam jar fish,
Through a secret door to . . .

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